Why are some girls sooo insecure?

No offense meant girls, but I’m serious with the question. Disclaimer though, I did not generalize girls as a whole in this post. I just said ‘some’ not all. Technically, I’m not generalizing. πŸ™‚

Girls, don’t get me wrong ok? I have lots of girl friends but I can’t seem to find the right answer since many of them I believe, are guilty of this.

Also, I’m not being gender-biased ok? Biologically, I’m a male. But technically, I’m in the middle… if you know what I mean. *wink* I know men are also insecure, it’s just that insecurities among women are more vulgar and obvious.

Image credit: Sareen Akharjalian (InkOnTheSide Blog)

The following stories are three of my personal encounters with girls who can’t seem to appreciate the beauty of others.

1. Jeepney girls

I was in a jeepney with a couple of passengers when I noticed two girls were murmuring something to each other. Keen observer that I am, I tried to ‘get’ what they were talking about. I noticed that one of the girls, who is morena, kept looking at the girl adjacent to me. She kept staring at her as if something’s wrong. The other girl (quite chubby) told her “Halata gud kaayo ka teh“, and they started talking to each other again in a low voice. Curious, I looked at the girl beside me. Chinita, tisay, bit skinny, wearing shorts and a tank top. After a couple of minutes, the girl next to me said ‘para‘ and went down the jeep. In an instant, one of the girls infront of me said.. “Dili man siya gwapa oi. Puti lang.” And as expected, her friend snapped “Mao jud. Di siya gwapa oi.”

2. Department store cashier

I was lining up at a cashier in the department store of SM Davao the other week when a gorgeous and slim teenage girl wearing basic jeans and simple top passed by our line. This girl has a fair complexion and she has long straight hair. I noticed that the cashier in front of me gave the teenage girl a smirk and sarcastic look on her face as if staring at the innocent girl is part of her job description.

3. My friend

I have a friend in Ateneo (name withheld) who is a famous student in school. Average height, straight and long black hair, tsinita and has radiant white complexion. She is one person who never fails to get the attention of the boys in school —  a headturner, that is.

I remember when we were walking past the Office of the President to go to the cafeteria, a bunch of ladies stared at her like there’s no tomorrow. Two of the girls even gave my friend a “head-to-foot” look for a couple of seconds. My friend, who is used to people looking at her like that, ignored them. I was about to ask my friend if she saw them, I heard one of the girls say, “Bakit maraming boys dito sa school nagkakagusto sa kanya? Hindi gud siya maganda.”

The stories above are just three of the many ( read: many) encounters I’ve had with various types of girls. The good ones often compliment by saying “Hala girl. Look at her oh. She’s pretty noh?“. But most often than not, most girls give out sarcastic remarks which are uncalled for.

My guess. LOL

I tried to give my own question a shot, and my guess is that it’s because of our society. In the Philippines, ‘morena’ type of skin is beautiful. But fair to white complexion is considered more attractive by men. I think it’s because of what many Filipinos in our society think. For example, Philippine Tinseltown (showbiz world) is an industry where face value and complexion really matter. Anne Curtis, Cristine Reyes, Bea Alonzo, etc.. What do these celebs have in common? You and I both know the answer.

Also, many watch the Tyra Banks-produced show, America’s Next Top Model showcasing models with skinny figure and averaging 6-foot tall. Because of this I believe, many mark the models and celebrities as ‘perfect images of beauty’ and those that deviate from the usual ‘image’ are ‘not beautiful’ or  ugly.. which is not necessarily correct.

You might ask me:

“Me answer ka man pala, Pat. Why dyou still have to blog about this question?”

It’s because I’m not confident with my answer. And I think the most fit people to answer this question are the ‘girls’. And as of last check, I’m not a girl. πŸ˜€

I don’t intend to lambast the girls I encountered and those who are guilty of doing the same, okay? We’ll consider that free speech for the sake of this argument.

Let’s make this post a bit interesting by sharing your answers. I’m just really curious what other girls have to say about this. But this is not limited to girls, okay? Boys and girls-at-heart can also answer. πŸ˜€

I’d really want to hear from you. πŸ™‚

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Jan - Patrik

Patrik is a 25 year old Certified Public Accountant working as an external auditor at a top audit firm in Makati, Philippines. He loves solo traveling, volleyball, Harry Potter and of course, blogging.


  1. It is because people (women specifically for that matter), do not get easily get contented with what they have. Personally, I was (and still am perhaps) bombarded with all the insecurities in life, especially when I was in my teen years. I used to hate myself because of my physique, my color, and my beauty. Though others have admired me for my intelligence and for my talents (buyag), for me, those weren’t enough. Even if my Mom let me realize before that “I am beautiful”, still I was not convinced (unless I could have a boyfriend.) This might sound pathetic, but that’s how I found myself. That was before though.

    Now, I enjoy myself. I mean, I realized that I shouldn’t have gotten insecure before. I may not be as white, skinny, or sexy as others, but I am happy — much happier that I am happily married to the man whom I loved, love and will always love. β™₯

    Well, let me just end this comment with this: Insecurity is always there, but it’s up to us whether we will let this insecurity ruin or strengthen our lives.

    I’ve said too much! Nice write-up! God speed! πŸ™‚

  2. Really, insecurity is the best enemy of a girl, depending on her weakness. For me, I really appreciate girls, the pretty ones, fashionable, etc. and also I get in secured too, well yeah, it’s natural. πŸ™‚ But since I met God, He made me realize that there’s nothing to be insecure with because the security we Have for Him is priceless, for God created each one of us FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE. His works are wonderful, and we know that full well. πŸ™‚ (PSALM 139) I think Girls should always be reminded of this verse. Not being religious but knowing what is the truth. πŸ™‚ Without His security our insecurity will always kill us, Proverbs 31:30 –
    β€œCharm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” . I hope this would help girls understand the main cause of insecurity of every individual :))

  3. hmmm.. haha, sige, for the sake of argument. I think there are 2 types of insecure girls. Those that dont believe in themselves and those that do. For the first one, the grass is always greener on the other side. they keep on seeing the positive attributes of others that they themselves don’t have.. they are insecure because they want to be like those people sa showbiz. tuloy, ang bababa ng self esteem nila. di nila naappreciate ang sarili nila.

    Yung isang kind naman, sobrang confident kunwari pero di naman talaga. They look for negatives sa iba because they want to be better than the others. they want to feel that they are better. So pintas sila ng pintas just to cover their insecurity.

  4. good observations. and if i may add, masyado din kasi taung inapi ng mga kastila noon. noon plang model citizens (looked up to) na ang mga mestizas and/or illustrados… part of the philippine identity na rin ata ang pagiging insecure.. hehe, masakit man tanggapin – pero fact yan.

    – ogs

  5. Human psychology says it Pat, if an individual is too busy doing good stuff with his or her life, he or she won’t have the time noticing others’ flaws..di nila makit-an na each one of us is UNIQUELY blessed kay busy cla mamantay ug mali sa lain..Go Pat! unta mahimung eye-opener imung article :)))

  6. hahaha cguro I am one of the other girls who really appreciate beautiful girls like “gwapaha nia uy”
    pero we the IT girls sometimes says “pangit xa uy!” esp to the girls who loves to flirt with our IT boys and with that ya-ya na voice na maka irritate hahahah.

    sa mga ing ana na girls, siguro insecure? the difference naman with Chinese singaporean girls or even japanese/korean girls are they appreciate beauty even though it’s plastic or with heavy makeup as long as it is pleasing to the eye lol, I don’t know why some of filipino girls are like that (part of crab mentality???)

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